Category: Writing

IELTS Task 2 Essay writing [II]

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The mark of a successful person is to be wealthy and have a successful career.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

A student wrote:

Many people argue that success in life is related to being rich and having a successful career. However, in my opinion, there are several other factors that have to be considered, as as I will now explain.

Primarily, the definition of success can be extremely controversial. There can be as many types of success in life as there are people. For example, the meaning of success for some people living in the countryside might be vastly different from these living in the big cities. In general, people in the countryside thrive for social respect, and family values rather than monetary accounts. They seem to be happier when they feel respected by their relatives, or their ideas are considered highly among their community.

Moreover, a considerable portion of people find their satisfaction in good education. They have eagerness to learn and gain more knowledge. They believe that knowledge is power and a way to lighten their minds and lives. To illustrate, many scientists have devoted their lives in research to make a discovery or an invention, and even thought these people did not have luxurious lives, not many can argue that they were not successful.

Furthermore, in many cases, we judge others by their outside appearance; that they are successful because they own, for example, a big house, an expensive car, or a good business. But owning these items would not always make them feel successful unless for instant, their family life is stable, their health is in good shape, or they really feel satisfied with what they have.

To conclude, I believe that there are many factors that should be taken into account besides wealth and successful career before judging that a person is really successful in his life.

(289 words)

Band score: 7.5

Academic -Report Writing [II]

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995- 2002.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Write at least 150 words

A student wrote

The diagram below shows the total number of minutes of telephone calls in UK from 1995-2002 which is divided into three categories-local- fixed line, national and international-fixed line and mobiles.

In 1995, people in UK has spent 72 minutes ( in billions) on local fixed line calls whereas in 1998, after 3 years the total number of minutes of calls have been increased from 72 to 89 minutes( in billion)

National and international fixed line calls had  dramatically increase from 1999 to 2002. In 1999, people in UK had spent 50 minutes ( in billions) whereas in 2002 it has been increased to 60 minutes (in billions).

From 1995-2002, minutes of mobile calls have been subsequently increasing from 2 minutes to 42 minutes.

Therefore, the total number of calls of local fixed line, national and international fixed line and mobiles have been increased from 1995-2002.

(145 words)

Band Score-5

Comments:

Below average

 

A Student wrote:

The bar chart demonstrates the amount of time spent by three types of phone calls in the United Kingdom between 1995 and 2002.

As can be seen from the graph, the time of local calls using fixed line was the highest over the period. The figure stood at just above 70 billion minutes in both 1995 and 2002. It is obvious that the upward trend was overtaken by a downward trend after 1999. The all-time high amount was 90 billion minutes, which was reached by local fixed line calls.

On the contrary, the other two categories both showed a trend of continuous increasing. National and international calls utilizing fixed line has climbed from around 39 billion in 1995 to roughly 60 billion in 2002. Although mobiles tended to be the least popular phoning device, the number of time has jumped to 40 billion in 2002.

To sum up, people in the UK preferred to use fixed line over cell phones. Moreover, the greatest number of phone calls during the seven years was occurred in the local area.

(177 words)

Band Score:8

Comments:

A very good answer

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Academic -Report Writing

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

 

A student wrote:

The two maps below show changes in an island before and after. Looking first at the one before construction we can see there is a huge island near a beach at west. The length of island is 100metres.

On the other hand the island after the construction has a lot of buildings. We can see large number of accommodations near the sea in the west and east. The accommodations are surrounded by footpath which goes to the swimming pool where tourists can enjoy swimming. There is a restaurant and a reception in the center of island surrounded by vehicle track which goes down to the pier where people can enjoy sailing.

Therefore, there are many changes which have occurred in these two diagrams.

(123 words)

Band score-4.5

Comments:

  • The word limit is less than required.(min 150 words)
  • Grammar is imperfect with the lexis part.
  • The overview is not appropriately selected
  • The sentence structure has to be well organized and defined.

 

A student wrote:

The given picture compares two stages of an island-before and after the construction for tourism. According to the map before construction, there were only a few trees and a beach which was not enough to facilitate the tourists. Therefore, most of the area of the island was empty. There wasn’t any special facility to provide to the tourists.

According to the map, after the construction, it can be seen very clearly that significant changes have been done to increase the attraction of island while trees and plants were not removed to establish an island for tourism.

Many facilities were established to provide the tourists like accommodation, restaurants, reception center, pier for boating, beach, footpaths and vehicle tracks. All the developments were made near the beach area.

Besides footpaths, were made to access the accommodation area and beach area while road tracks were made to drive through restaurants, reception center and pier for boating.

In conclusion, after construction the island got ready to provide numerous facilities to tourists. Furthermore, trees and plants were present to give pleasure to its tourists and not cutting them was a good idea for a tourist place like this island. The whole construction feels like has been made with a good planning.

(206 words)

Band score-7.5

Comments:

  • A good structured report writing
  • Lexical words were appropriate
  • No grammar mistakes
  • Linking words were used.

(II) IELTS Task 2 Essay writing

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Government should spend more money on Railways rather than roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

A student wrote :

I agree with the statement that government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. Everybody can afford railways. It is the fastest and the safest means of transport. Trade and business also depend on transport. As railways carry tonnes of goods from one place to another. While roads are used for shorter distance only. Roads are not suitable for unmetalled roads.

Government should spend more money on railways because it is better and railway offers fast and safe commuting. As we all know that number of road accidents are increasing so I guess everybody should afford railways as railways causes less environmental damages.

The population is also increasing and railways can carry hundreds of people from one place to another. Railways carry tonnes of goods from one place to another. While roads can carry less number of people. Railways are good for security concerns. Roads are not suitable for unmetalled roads as during rainy season these become unmotorable and are seriously handicapped during heavy rains and floods. There is a pollution problem As vehicles carry a lot of pollution and now-a-days percentage of air pollution has increased.

So we should prefer railways only as railways i.e. trains run on electricity and does not have any problem of pollution. Most of the people now-a-days prefer railways only as railways now offer better facilities. Shatabdi which is world’s fastest train now offers better opportunities in terms of cleaning, the food which is offered in train’s pantry is also hygienic. Railways are also good for security reasons. Investing more money on faster and safer transportation system is more logical. Railways should get priority over roads.

(273Words)

Band Score-4.5

Comments

  • Word limit is good but the sentence structure is not correct.
  • Repetition of ideas and sentences
  • Spelling mistakes and incorrect punctuation
  • Not much focused on why railways are better than roads
  • The introduction is unclear and not paraphrased.
  • Used incorrect vocabulary at some places. Unnecessary usage of upper case.
  • Ideas can be improved

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A student wrote:

It is argued that government spending on railways should exceed expenditure on roads. This essay agrees with this opinion and will argue, firstly, that by spending more money on railways pollution will be reduced, and secondly that there will be a significant reduction in road accidents.

Firstly, a train can carry a large number of people which helps reduce pollution. Fumes from the engines of private vehicles heavily pollute the environment whereas trains do not create nearly as much greenhouse gas. In a world where global warming is increasingly an issue of concern, building railways which are accessible and convenient to the majority of the public would encourage people to use this form of mass transport thereby lowering the total amount of carbon emissions. Reliability is one of the most important measure to see how worthy a transportation system is. Without reliability there is no certainty, which means people cannot plan ahead their schedules. That is a disaster for industries whose projects success rely on timing. Fresh food suppliers, for example, highly depend on the reliability of its distribution network to make sure their goods arrive at the hand of their customers timely.

More importantly, an increase in train use potentially reduces the number of road accidents and saves lives. One study has shown that urban rail transport is seven times safer than road per kilometre. History has shown that deaths can result from serious road accidents. For instance, in one fatal accident in Delhi recently the driver of a vehicle lost control when he collided with another vehicle and crashed into a young child, who later tragically died in hospital. Had the driver taken a train, this unnecessary loss of life would have been avoided.

In conclusion, governments should spend more money on constructing railways to reduce pollution and support the need for people to arrive at their destinations safely.

(311 words)

Band Score-8

Comments:

  • A strong answer
  • Main points are clearly stated with relevant example/s.
  • Student has used paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
  • Wide range of structures and lexical items
  • An excellent essay.

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